How A “Relationship Check-in” Dramatically Improved My Personal Life

One core technique in business that helped me achieve success was creating a great "meeting" with key term members that happens regularly…and that same technique has also helped my personal relationship with my partner. My friend Harold recently told me about how he and his fiance have a "relationship check-in" once a month.   He sent me the format and now my girlfriend and I have our own check-in, but we modified it for our tastes and style. Here are 5 key elements of this check-in that's helped us grow closer, share the good, and work on improving any issues.  I also relate how this can help your business grow.  

1. The Check-in Reviews "Life Basics"

In our relationship check-in, we look over what's coming up ahead so we're on the same page.  These include things like:

• Calendar:  What's happening that involves both of us over the next 2 weeks?  These could include Entrepreneurs’ Organization socials or events, padel lessons, date nights, movies coming out that we want to watch and much more

• Menu:   While we don't live together, we spend a lot of meals together.  I like to cook, so I'll plan a few evenings where I'll make something tasty and healthy.  Recently I made shrimp quesadillas with a fresh mango salsa!  She'll cook sometimes, but she doesn't enjoy it that much.  Still, I like it when she does…especially if she's in a nice outfit when she does it. ;)

• Travel:  We might have things happening that we have to prepare for, like an upcoming trip to Asia in the summer.
• Budget:  We'll look at spending and if there are any budgetary items to go over.

2. We Reflect on What's Going Well

I consider these the "wins" that are going on in our relationship and they're important to verbalize.  I like to know what she likes, and she can see what I enjoy. A good topic is:  What were two relationship highlights from the past month? Sometimes we'll share a few highs like a fun dinner we had together or an impromptu electric scooter ride through the Marina. In business, I start each meeting with a reflection of our past "Wins" because it helps keep the mood positive and upbeat. Yes, there are business issues that we'll need to discuss, but it's good to start with the positives.

3. We Can Approach Any Issues With Delicacy

The check-in has an opportunity to address questions like: "What are you concerned with right now?" or "Do you have any stresses regarding the relationship (or life in general)?" I try to turn off my "problem-solving business" mind as best I can and address anything her and I might have. It's better to squish the problems when they're small, rather than wait until they get bigger.  It's also in the middle of the meeting, and we've already started with the good things and a more loving headspace. For us, we also find it helpful to touch or hold hands so we feel more connected.

4. The Check-in Sets Up A Place In Our Busy Lives To Go Deeper

Just like in business, if your team knows that there is a space once a week or month where they can openly talk about issues, it provides a huge amount of relief.   It creates a space where they know they can be heard, without judgement, and with a sense of openness. If you never have REGULAR meetings, then how does your staff know when they can talk to you? Do you really think they'll bring up every issue that you probably need to know about when it happens? Another benefit of a regular meeting schedule is how it provides a clear expectation with your staff that if they DON'T bring up an important issue…why didn't they? If you have meetings once a week, and someone mentions a key issue that happened weeks ago, there's no excuse to have not brought it up when it happened.  Usually this is because they were afraid in some way or just wanted to "solve it without bothering you" (which is a ridiculous excuse).   For my personal life, our check-in gives us a space where we know we can talk about something important.  This way, rather than dealing with heated issues in the moment when emotions are high, we can park it on an Iphone Note and give it a bit of space and time for the feelings to lessen.   (This is how I do it, unless it's something more important and warrants a discussion in the moment). I find with 90% of concerns, I can just put into a Note on my ipad, and reflect on it later.   Right now, we check-in once a month with a full 1-hour plus check-in.  We also do a quicker once a week on Sundays, which is mostly focused on our activities and commitments for the following week.

5. We discuss our Vision and Bigger Goals 

Part of the check-in process involves looking at our Vision.  We're planning to create vision boards.   We'll make separate ones for our individual goals, as well as one for us as a couple.  This could include how we want our lives to be, what kind of home we might live in and the places we'll visit. In the business realm, you want to have a clear vision that your team knows about.  I have a 2-page document that gets updated every quarter called the "Vision / Traction Organizer" that shows the whole team where we're going. It outlines the company revenue goals, key strategies and much more.   It's inspiring and uplifting!   Try out having a monthly (or bi-monthly) relationship check-in with your partner and watch as it inspires, relieves and makes your lives better. Want to scale your business from 7 to 8 figures, just like I've done?  I run an 8-figure company and it only takes me 8-hours a month.  Here's the link to hop on a consultation call to see how I can help you grow